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Adoptees Year
of Birth


A Message for Biological Parents

IF YOU ARE A BIOLOGICAL MOTHER.  
Do not reject your child when he or she finds you.
If you do, they will believe that you are rejecting them for a second time.
See our 'Letters and Email' page for letters from rejected adoptees.

There are many reasons why a biological mother is forced to give up her baby for adoption. Often against her will, but family and friends demand it of her, "Save the family image" , "You have brought shame on you family", "What will other people say", is what family and friends say, but

LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE. 
THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

Or it could be for financial or medical reasons or she may be too young ,and she may not be able to give the child a reasonable chance in life. After all every mother (no matter who she is) only wants the best for her child. Mothers who give up their babies for adoption never forget (even though some do try to forget) their children.

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If you had a baby before you were married, tell your fiancť about the baby BEFORE your wedding. It could save you many MANY tears

Although many people are against biological mothers searching for their adopted children, I believe that a biological mother has the right to one day see her child again. This is natural, and human. The love you had for your baby while you carried them for nine months during pregnancy, can never die. You felt your baby move, you gave that child life and you suffered pain when your baby was born.

IF YOU STILL LOVE THAT BABY AND WANT TO SEE HIM OR HER AGAIN, START YOUR SEARCH. THEY MAY BE SEARCHING FOR YOU AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

If you are searching for an adopted child, PLEASE let us add you name to our database, your child may already be included on our database.

A WARNING THOUGH

If you are married, before you start searching, talk it over with your spouse, he or she may not be in favor of you digging up the past. Get their approval before hand. It could cost you your marriage if you ignore your their wishes. 

Expect to shed many a tear before and after you have found the baby you loved so much.

Your child may not be what you expect, (see "Jane and Dion" on our "Story Page") They may be very poor or even very rich, It is best to keep an open mind when you start searching. Don't expect too much, you may be disappointed, most biological mothers are quiet happy when they meet their adopted children.

WHEN YOU DO FINALLY MEET.

1) NEVER EXPECT THEM TO GIVE UP THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS FOR YOU.
2) REMEMBER EVEN THOUGH YOU DID GIVE THEM LIFE, THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE THE ONLY PARENTS THEY KNOW.

Most adopted children have many questions they will ask their biological parents, when they do finally meet. They will ask "Why they were given up for adoption?" ,"Who is my biological father?" Questions about your medical history. Their biological father's medical history, Who their grand parents are, and many more questions.

NEVER LIE!   TELL THEM THE TRUTH


A letter from an Adoptee to her biological mother

HELLO ITíS MEÖ. YOUR DAUGHTER

All through my childhood I wondered what I had done wrong, and craved love from all those around me, those who gave me unconditional love were pushed away and as I grew older, the gap in my heart grew bigger, the hate, no ,not hate, despise maybe pushed me to wonder even further.

The years went by and my heart could not betray those who loved me, yet always in my mind you were there, when I got married, when my daughter was born, and that day so were you a constant reminder, the rage I felt, the deception, the feeling of something missing so deep and so untouchable.

The anguish the grief, tore me apart where had you gone, why??? Why me, now I have nothing, nothing, nothing even memories I shut out, and then there is hope, hope that all the pain will be taken away by a warm and wanting embrace, even a kind word would have helped, now I am desperate for that love, but where are you, are you kind, loving and willing to accept me as unconditionally as those who loved me beyond all boundaries, who cared and loved me no matter what.

And there you are before me, like an abstract picture Ė no feeling, just overwhelment at being face to face with a dream so long in my mind.

Hanging on became all that there was, nothing had changed the hurt buried so deep down couldnít come to surface, still I hung on to my dream, or had it turned into a fixation in mind.

As the unknown became known, over a long period of time, disappointment slowly crept in, blocking the journey I once again felt the feeling of that great gap in my life, something was missing, and you could not give me what I so desperately searched for.

Where, where are you, mother dear???? Now the anger sets in ,the hurt , the disappointment replaced by rage at your non- acceptance. Here I am look at me! Me I am a living soul, who never asked to brought into this world, never wanted to feel abandoned as though I do not exist, I exist and itís your duty and my right to be loved I was created by love and not be cast aside as though a passing friend, and yet because of my upbringing to respect those around me ,I had to shut my true feelings out, and play a part I found so hard.

We smile we laugh and inside I feel like shaking you ~!!
HelloÖ itís me , itís me , your daughter.
And there you where, not a dream anymore, but in fact the simple truth, my mother.
And then I ran, ran far away.

You canít hurt me anymore

 

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