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Adoptees Year
of Birth


A Message for Adoptive Parents

IF YOU HAVE NOT TOLD YOUR CHILD THAT HE OR SHE IS ADOPTED THEN
TODAY IS THE TIME TO DO SO!!

A letter from an adoptee

I have always been told by my parents that I was adopted but that was about it. I have never been able to or even tried for that matter; to talk to them. For some or other reason this is a matter that has caused me great pain. I do not know why but it angered me terribly as a teenager and now that I too, am a parent, it causes me great sadness. 

I remember looking down at my son the minute he was born and there were my hands and feet. Identical - only much, much smaller! The first thought that came into my mind was: "And who's hands do I have" From that moment on this has been something that is eating away at me. I cannot even think about the matter without crying my eyes out. I would give anything to find my biological parents..

Another Letter from an adoptee

I was adopted 40 years ago and my adoptive parents told my adoptive brother and myself from a very early age that we were "special children" and that we were adopted. Obviously we didn't entirely understand the meaning of adoption, but we knew that we didn't come from mummy's tummy.

My parents had a "coming home's day" for us where we would choose any restaurant we wanted and invited a friend or boyfriend to join us in celebration of our adoption date - our "coming home's" day was celebrated on the day that we were adopted NOT on our birthday.... mum & dad's logic was that they did not know us on our birthdays and that they only "met" me after 10 days after my birth - this was a wonderful way of enlightening us (and our friends) about our adoption. They were extremely special people & I have told many adoptive parents about our "Coming Home's days" and they have all come back to me and told me how much easier it has been for them to let their children know about their adoptions in celebrating "coming home's days"

Thought I'd just let you know about my experience of how I got to know that I was adopted - it certainly worked for our family - neither my brother or I have had any hang-ups about the fact that we were adopted.

A Message to Adoptive Parents

It is one of the most traumatic experiences for any person to find out that they were adopted twenty or thirty years ago and their, parents never told them about it. Very often the adopted child feels deceived by his / her adoptive parents, and often resentment, towards their adoptive parents because they had never been told  they are adopted. See our story page.

Adoptive parents can save themselves, and their children a lot of trauma, (see the letter from a birth mother dated 19th April 2002 in our E-mail and Letter page) grief, pain and suffering by telling them of their adoption from as young as five or six years old. If a child is brought up, knowing that he was adopted, and his adoptive parents allow it to be an open subject of discussion, from a young age, there will be no drama when the child starts searching.

Biological mothers do not search for their children with the hope of getting their children to reject their adoptive parents and have them return to her. It is only natural instinct of a woman or young girl who gave birth to a child many years ago, wanting to know how her child fared. The memory of that child remains in her heart for the rest of her life. Read a letter written by a biological mother to the adoptive father of her son. click here.

Read a happy story from adoptive parents  about their adopted child meeting the biological parents. click here.

REMEMBER

YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY PARENTS THAT HE OR SHE KNOWS.

YOUR CHILD WILL NEVER REJECT YOU  FOR THEIR BIRTH PARENTS. THEY WILL NEVER DESERT YOU. 

YOU BROUGHT THEM UP. YOU LOVED THEM ALL THE YEARS.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL REJECTED WHEN YOUR CHILD,  STARTS SEARCHING FOR HIS / HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.

HELP YOUR CHILD FIND HIS OR HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, IT PROVES YOUR LOVE TO THEM.

 

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