A Message for Adoptive Parents
IF YOU HAVE
NOT TOLD YOUR CHILD THAT HE OR SHE IS ADOPTED THEN
TODAY IS THE TIME TO
letter from an adoptee
I have always been
told by my parents that I was adopted but that was about it.
I have never been able to or even tried for that matter; to talk to them.
For some or other reason this is a matter that has caused me great pain. I do
not know why but it angered me terribly as a teenager and now that I too, am a
parent, it causes me great sadness.
remember looking down at my son the minute he was born and there were my hands
and feet. Identical - only much, much
smaller! The first thought that came into my mind was: "And who's hands do
I have" From that moment on this has been something that is eating away at
me. I cannot even think about the matter without crying my eyes out.
give anything to find my biological parents..
Letter from an adoptee
adopted 40 years ago and my adoptive parents told my adoptive brother and myself
from a very early age that we were "special children" and that we were
adopted. Obviously we didn't entirely understand the meaning of adoption, but we
knew that we didn't come from mummy's tummy.
My parents had a "coming home's day" for us where we would choose any
restaurant we wanted and invited a friend or boyfriend to join us in celebration
of our adoption date - our "coming home's" day was celebrated on the
day that we were adopted NOT on our birthday.... mum & dad's logic was that
they did not know us on our birthdays and that they only "met" me
after 10 days after my birth - this was a wonderful way of enlightening us (and
our friends) about our adoption. They were extremely special people & I have
told many adoptive parents about our "Coming Home's days" and they
have all come back to me and told me how much easier it has been for them to let
their children know about their adoptions in celebrating "coming home's
Thought I'd just let you know about my experience of how I got to know that I
was adopted - it certainly worked for our family - neither my brother or I
have had any hang-ups about the fact that we were adopted.
Message to Adoptive Parents
is one of the most traumatic experiences for any person to find out that they
were adopted twenty or thirty years ago and their, parents never told them about
it. Very often the adopted child feels deceived by his / her adoptive parents,
and often resentment, towards their adoptive parents because they had never been
told they are adopted. See our story page.
parents can save themselves, and their
children a lot of trauma, (see
the letter from a birth mother dated 19th April 2002 in our E-mail and
Letter page) grief, pain
and suffering by telling them of their adoption from as young as five or
six years old. If a child is brought up, knowing that he was adopted,
and his adoptive parents allow it to be an open subject of discussion,
from a young age, there will be no drama when the child starts
mothers do not search for their children with the hope of getting their
children to reject their adoptive parents and have them return to her.
It is only natural instinct of a woman or young girl who gave birth to a
child many years ago, wanting to know how her child fared. The memory of
that child remains in her heart for the rest of her life. Read a letter
written by a biological mother to the adoptive father of her son. click
a happy story from adoptive parents about their adopted child meeting the
biological parents. click
CHILD LOVES YOU, YOU ARE THE ONLY PARENTS
THAT HE OR SHE KNOWS.
CHILD WILL NEVER REJECT YOU FOR
THEIR BIRTH PARENTS. THEY WILL NEVER DESERT YOU.
YOU BROUGHT THEM UP. YOU
LOVED THEM ALL THE YEARS.
DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL REJECTED
WHEN YOUR CHILD, STARTS SEARCHING FOR HIS / HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.
YOUR CHILD FIND HIS OR HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, IT PROVES YOUR LOVE TO